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"Points": This Fuckin' Guy Gets Some Fucking Points.

Points As those of you motherfuckers Who were reading This Fuckin' Blog last year (Or who heard this ) Already fucking know, I like Citibike: I used to have to buy motherfucking monthly transit cards From the motherfucking MTA Every motherfucking month And I fucking hate the motherfucking MTA. Citibike has saved me a shitload of money That would otherwise go to the pieces of shit At the fucking MTA So yeah, I fucking like Citibike. If I had to name the worst fucking thing About Citibike I guess I'd say that sometimes There's no fucking bikes And you have to walk to another fucking docking station And sometimes There's no room to dock your bike So you have to ride to another station to dock your fucking bike But that's really no big deal It's only occasionally a pain in the ass. But, so then, I get an email from Citibike a couple of  months ago, About this new fucking program Where you get points If you take a fucking bike from a to
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Dan West: This Fucking Guy Celebrates A Friendship

So this fucking morning, I get one of these fucking messages from Facebook, Telling me I'm celebrating Three fucking years of friendship Between me and Dan Fucking West. There’s a little fucking video thing. I've never looked at one of these fucking Facebook videos before. It's kind of fucking stupid, But it brought back some nice fucking memories. I really fucking like Dan West. He is one awesome motherfucking motherfucker -  I'm fucking serious like a motherfucking heart attack. But at the end of the fucking video, It says something like, "There are billions of fucking friendships out there, But only one like yours (Meaning mine and Dan West's). That's fucking awesome." I'm not sure why that is fucking awesome. You could say that every fucking friendship Is fucking unique. Is that awesome? I don't fucking know. Maybe it is. No two fucking snowflakes, am I right? Of course I'm fucking right. I guess it would b

"Ossoff" and "FBI": This Fuckin' Guy Gives, Gives a Little More, and Refuses to Give

Ossoff Yeah, what the fuck, I gave that motherfucker some money today. I figured, any motherfucker gets 48 per cent running as a Democrat in the Georgia 6th deserves a little something. So I gave him a little fucking money. Just a little fucking money. And then Act Blue, who coordinates the fucking contributions, was like "Hey--could we get a fucking tip?" And I was like, sure, I'll tip you motherfuckers too, Because 20 percent of the tiny fucking donation I just gave to this motherfucker Ossoff is like nothing anyway, But it's better than fucking nothing. Last week, when Ossoff was polling at like 42 per cent, I was like, "No fucking way is this motherfucker going to win the runoff," But maybe he fucking will. Anyway, it's worth throwing a little fucking money in. Skin in the fucking game. April 19, 2017 FBI Monday, I was about to dock a Citibike Over by the motherfucking ferry, And this guy is like, "Yo, could I borrow yo

"Trump II: Speech" and "Retrospect": This Fuckin' Guy Reflects.

Trump II: Speech* Jesus fucking cocks How do you like the balls on this motherfucking piece of shit? Make the bar so fucking low That that shit looks statesmanlike? That that shit looks good? Fuck that shit And fuck you. But I will say one fucking thing: It's a fucking shame that no Democrat since probably LBJ Would even fucking think of proposing A trillion fucking dollars on infrastructure And I will say fuck yes to that. I will give credit when credit is due Like what that piece of shit Bush did in Africa: A lot of fucking money to fight AIDS, malaria, and other fucked up shit over there Whereas that fuck Reagan took five fucking years to even say the fucking word "AIDS." That piece of shit ratbastard fuck. So fuck yes to Bush fighting AIDS, malaria, and other fucked up shit in Africa And fuck yes to proposing a trillion dollars for infrastructure Even if it never fucking happ‎ens It's a nice fucking gesture It's a lovely fucking gestu‎re So fuck yes I

"Return" and "Trump I": This Fuckin' Guy Comes Back.

Return It's been a long fucking time. I'm not all that into me, but I've kind of fucking missed me. After writing something like a hundred fucking poems in 14 months, This Fuckin' Guy was getting fucking repetitive and pedestrian and boring. To me, at least. And I don't think I was the only fucking one. But, now that 14 more months have gone by (17, actually) And what with the state of the motherfucking union, It feels like there might be a place again For This Fuckin' Guy. Let's see.... February 28, 2017 Trump I* (In Seven Parts) I Well, yeah, of course. Fuck this fucking piece of shit Fuck this piece of shit in his fucking dick With a fucking corkscrew Stick a fucking corkscrew in his dick And screw it in. Hard. Fucking piece of shit. Fuck this fucking motherfucker. II I've been trying to transcend I've been meditating and being all like Live and let live But then this ever changing world in which we live in Made me give in and cr


Loss Two fucking years ago A month or two after Citibike fucking started up I was like, fucking hell, I hardly ever ride the fucking subway anymore So I stopped getting the monthly fucking unlimited fucking Metrocard And got a pay per fucking ride And I hardly ever fucking paid for a fucking subway ride: For fucking months I'd get on a fucking bike each morning And I'd be like, hey I'm fucking saving money And after a couple of months, Let me fucking tell you, I was the fastest motherfucking Citbike riding motherfucker On the motherfucking bike path Along the fucking Hudson Going south in the morning. Not the fastest fucking bike rider -- There were always some fucking Lycrafucks Who would pass my ass (see " Bike "; the second to last Motherfucking poem I wrote on August 30th of last fucking year; Or hear "Bike,"  here ; I think it's the second fucking track). But never fucking ever did a motherfucker on another Citibike Ever f

"118" and "Book": This Fuckin' Guy has been at it for a year!

118 A year ago today, This Fucking Guy Wrote his first fucking poem Called " Dragonfly " Whoop-de-fucking- Motherfucking-whoop-de-fucking-do Fucking "Dachshund" and Fucking "Daisy" Were written that day too I just fucking counted How many there have been 117 motherfuckers A motherfucking sin A few are pretty fucking good And a few are fucking not But regardless, 117's A motherfucking lot I posted one motherfucker twice Because it was rewritten But it only counts as one Otherwise, that would be bullshitting And there's a fucking poem called "Cake" Inside another poem I figured, fuck it, that one counts Leave me the fuck alone Anyway, it's been a year a this shit Whoop-de-fucking-dee Happy fucking birthday To motherfucking me 8/5/2015 Book I've been thinking, Fuck me, there are a fuckload Of This Fuckin' Guy poems. Shouldn't there be a fucking book? " Owls " has already be