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Showing posts from August, 2015

"118" and "Book": This Fuckin' Guy has been at it for a year!

118 A year ago today, This Fucking Guy Wrote his first fucking poem Called " Dragonfly " Whoop-de-fucking- Motherfucking-whoop-de-fucking-do Fucking "Dachshund" and Fucking "Daisy" Were written that day too I just fucking counted How many there have been 117 motherfuckers A motherfucking sin A few are pretty fucking good And a few are fucking not But regardless, 117's A motherfucking lot I posted one motherfucker twice Because it was rewritten But it only counts as one Otherwise, that would be bullshitting And there's a fucking poem called "Cake" Inside another poem I figured, fuck it, that one counts Leave me the fuck alone Anyway, it's been a year a this shit Whoop-de-fucking-dee Happy fucking birthday To motherfucking me 8/5/2015 Book I've been thinking, Fuck me, there are a fuckload Of This Fuckin' Guy poems. Shouldn't there be a fucking book? " Owls " has already be

"Explanation" and "Picture": This Fuckin' Guy Follows up on Yesterday's Poem.

Explanation I'm not fucking sure If I explained How my toe got so fucked up. You see, when you go on a fucking long ass motherfucking hike, Particularly when you're hiking downhill, It's very fucking easy To stub your fucking toes On motherfucking rocks. And I did this repeatedly. And if you haven't cut your fucking toenails recently, The motherfucking toenail Will jam down into your toe When you stub that shit on a rock. And the longer the fucking toenail The more that shit hurts. And that toenail, On the right big toe, That shit was long. This Fuckin' Guy Forgets to clip his motherfucking toenails Sometimes. So, my solution (Rather than just fucking remembering To clip those motherfuckers On a regular fucking basis) Is, the next time I plan to go On a motherfucking hike, I'll put a note in my fucking calendar Two days before the hike That says "Clip your fucking toenails." 8/2/2015 Picture Oh, and I already fuck

"Toe": This Fuckin' Guy Contemplates an Appendage.

Toe Damn my toe got fucked up from that hike last weekend. That shit is black and fucking disgusting. I'm not one to wear sandals, normally, but I was just out walking with some mothefucking sandals on, and motherfuck me, that toe looks like shit. I only first noticed it a couple of days ago. I don't look at my feet a lot. I'm not into feet, like I heard Quentin Tarrantino is really fucking into feet, But I'm not, and even if I fucking was, I wouldn't be into my feet And even if I was into my own fucking feet, I would be like, yo, motherfucking foot over there, I'll see you in a couple of fucking weeks, because that motherfucking toe over there is fucked up. I could take a photograph of it, and maybe I will, but I don't know if I would want anyone to see that shit. It's fucked. I'm not trying to be coy. I'm not trying to play it like, oh, if you talk me into it, I will show you my fucked up fucking toe. Because I won't. This mot