Skip to main content

"Explanation" and "Picture": This Fuckin' Guy Follows up on Yesterday's Poem.



Explanation
I'm not fucking sure
If I explained
How my toe got so fucked up.

You see, when you go on a fucking long ass motherfucking hike,
Particularly when you're hiking downhill,
It's very fucking easy
To stub your fucking toes
On motherfucking rocks.
And I did this repeatedly.

And if you haven't cut your fucking toenails recently,
The motherfucking toenail
Will jam down into your toe
When you stub that shit on a rock.
And the longer the fucking toenail
The more that shit hurts.
And that toenail,
On the right big toe,
That shit was long.
This Fuckin' Guy
Forgets to clip his motherfucking toenails
Sometimes.

So, my solution
(Rather than just fucking remembering
To clip those motherfuckers
On a regular fucking basis)
Is, the next time I plan to go
On a motherfucking hike,
I'll put a note in my fucking calendar
Two days before the hike
That says "Clip your fucking toenails."
8/2/2015

Picture
Oh, and I already fucking said
I'm not taking a picture
Of my fucking toe,
So you can all fucking stop asking.
8/2/2015

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

"Points": This Fuckin' Guy Gets Some Fucking Points.

Points As those of you motherfuckers Who were reading This Fuckin' Blog last year (Or who heard this ) Already fucking know, I like Citibike: I used to have to buy motherfucking monthly transit cards From the motherfucking MTA Every motherfucking month And I fucking hate the motherfucking MTA. Citibike has saved me a shitload of money That would otherwise go to the pieces of shit At the fucking MTA So yeah, I fucking like Citibike. If I had to name the worst fucking thing About Citibike I guess I'd say that sometimes There's no fucking bikes And you have to walk to another fucking docking station And sometimes There's no room to dock your bike So you have to ride to another station to dock your fucking bike But that's really no big deal It's only occasionally a pain in the ass. But, so then, I get an email from Citibike a couple of  months ago, About this new fucking program Where you get points If you take a fucking bike from a to...

Dan West: This Fucking Guy Celebrates A Friendship

So this fucking morning, I get one of these fucking messages from Facebook, Telling me I'm celebrating Three fucking years of friendship Between me and Dan Fucking West. There’s a little fucking video thing. I've never looked at one of these fucking Facebook videos before. It's kind of fucking stupid, But it brought back some nice fucking memories. I really fucking like Dan West. He is one awesome motherfucking motherfucker -  I'm fucking serious like a motherfucking heart attack. But at the end of the fucking video, It says something like, "There are billions of fucking friendships out there, But only one like yours (Meaning mine and Dan West's). That's fucking awesome." I'm not sure why that is fucking awesome. You could say that every fucking friendship Is fucking unique. Is that awesome? I don't fucking know. Maybe it is. No two fucking snowflakes, am I right? Of course I'm fucking right. I guess it would b...

"Trump II: Speech" and "Retrospect": This Fuckin' Guy Reflects.

Trump II: Speech* Jesus fucking cocks How do you like the balls on this motherfucking piece of shit? Make the bar so fucking low That that shit looks statesmanlike? That that shit looks good? Fuck that shit And fuck you. But I will say one fucking thing: It's a fucking shame that no Democrat since probably LBJ Would even fucking think of proposing A trillion fucking dollars on infrastructure And I will say fuck yes to that. I will give credit when credit is due Like what that piece of shit Bush did in Africa: A lot of fucking money to fight AIDS, malaria, and other fucked up shit over there Whereas that fuck Reagan took five fucking years to even say the fucking word "AIDS." That piece of shit ratbastard fuck. So fuck yes to Bush fighting AIDS, malaria, and other fucked up shit in Africa And fuck yes to proposing a trillion dollars for infrastructure Even if it never fucking happ‎ens It's a nice fucking gesture It's a lovely fucking gestu‎re So fuck yes I...