Skip to main content

"Rude" and "Class": This Fuckin' Guy Disses Some People and Gets Schooled

Rude
It's really fucking rude of me
To be sitting here, watching Fin Divilly
And writing this fucking poem
Instead of giving him my undivided attention.
I mean, I'm giving him some attention,
But it's fucking divided:
My time is divided between the lovely fucking performance Fin is giving right now,
And this stupid fucking poem I'm writing.
I mean, Fin came all the fuck from Ireland,
And he's singing some really lovely motherfucking songs,
And I'm writing this shit.
And that's really motherfucking rude.

But what's even fucking ruder
Is that after Fin finishes his performance,
I'm going to go on next,
And read this poem,
And maybe one more,
And then I'm going to have to leave,
And probably not watch any of the other performers.
I mean, that's really fucking rude.
I'm really fucking sorry.
It's just I've got this class in less than an hour,
And I've got to get over there.
I'm really fucking sorry,
I really shouldn't be a part of this open mic at all,
If I'm not going to have the decency to fucking listen to anyone else.
But I fucking am part of this mic--
The fucking worst, the fucking rudest, motherfucking part of this mic.

And I realize that it's fucking disingenuous of me to be fucking castigating myself like this,
Hoping that some of you might think, "This Fuckin' guy should give himeself a motherfucking break, it's not like he's setting fire to a motherfucking rainforest or raping a frog,
He's just being fucking rude to 15 fucking people at an open mic,"
But to that I would say: fuck you.
This is what I fucking do.
I do reprehensible motherfucking things and then appogize,
And then fucking hate myself.
I'm fucking sorry.
I really fucking am.
5/14/2015

Class
I made it to my motherfucking class
By running like seven or 8 motherfucking blocks from the bar where the mic was at to the motherfucking G train
And that motherfucker was pulling into thw station just as I was running down the fucking stairs.

And the class was pretty fucking good.
All in all, the evening went pretty fucking well,
Except I still fucking hate myself a little bit for being rude.

So I guess the next time I go to that mic,
I better make sure I don't have any other fucking thing planned.
I guess I better stay for the whole fucking thing.
It's the least fucking thing I could do.
I don’t want people to think I don't have any fucking class.
Oh, you see what I fucking did just there?
Ok, now I hate myself even more.
5/14/2015

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

"Return" and "Trump I": This Fuckin' Guy Comes Back.

Return

It's been a long fucking time.
I'm not all that into me, but I've kind of fucking missed me.

After writing something like a hundred fucking poems in 14 months,
This Fuckin' Guy was getting fucking repetitive and pedestrian and boring.
To me, at least.
And I don't think I was the only fucking one.

But, now that 14 more months have gone by (17, actually)
And what with the state of the motherfucking union,
It feels like there might be a place again
For This Fuckin' Guy.

Let's see....

February 28, 2017


Trump I* (In Seven Parts)

I
Well, yeah, of course.
Fuck this fucking piece of shit
Fuck this piece of shit in his fucking dick
With a fucking corkscrew
Stick a fucking corkscrew in his dick
And screw it in.
Hard.
Fucking piece of shit.
Fuck this fucking motherfucker.

II
I've been trying to transcend
I've been meditating and being all like
Live and let live
But then this ever changing world in which we live in
Made me give in and cry
And say fuck that shit
Live and let this mo…

"Trump II: Speech" and "Retrospect": This Fuckin' Guy Reflects.

Trump II: Speech*
Jesus fucking cocks
How do you like the balls on this motherfucking piece of shit?

Make the bar so fucking low
That that shit looks statesmanlike?
That that shit looks good?
Fuck that shit
And fuck you.

But I will say one fucking thing:
It's a fucking shame that no Democrat since probably LBJ
Would even fucking think of proposing
A trillion fucking dollars on infrastructure
And I will say fuck yes to that.

I will give credit when credit is due
Like what that piece of shit Bush did in Africa:
A lot of fucking money to fight AIDS, malaria, and other fucked up shit
over there
Whereas that fuck Reagan took five fucking years to even say the fucking word "AIDS."
That piece of shit ratbastard fuck.

So fuck yes to Bush fighting AIDS, malaria, and other fucked up shit in Africa
And fuck yes to proposing a trillion dollars for infrastructure
Even if it never fucking happ‎ens
It's a nice fucking gesture
It's a lovely fucking gestu‎re
So fuck yes
I mean, I'm almost al…

"Ossoff" and "FBI": This Fuckin' Guy Gives, Gives a Little More, and Refuses to Give

Ossoff

Yeah, what the fuck, I gave that motherfucker some money today.
I figured, any motherfucker gets 48 per cent running as a Democrat in the Georgia 6th deserves a little something.
So I gave him a little fucking money.
Just a little fucking money.

And then Act Blue, who coordinates the fucking contributions, was like "Hey--could we get a fucking tip?"
And I was like, sure, I'll tip you motherfuckers too,
Because 20 percent of the tiny fucking donation I just gave to this motherfucker Ossoff is like nothing anyway,
But it's better than fucking nothing.

Last week, when Ossoff was polling at like 42 per cent, I was like, "No fucking way is this motherfucker going to win the runoff,"
But maybe he fucking will.

Anyway, it's worth throwing a little fucking money in.
Skin in the fucking game.

April 19, 2017


FBI

Monday, I was about to dock a Citibike
Over by the motherfucking ferry,
And this guy is like,
"Yo, could I borrow your bike? I'm with the …