Skip to main content

"Rude" and "Class": This Fuckin' Guy Disses Some People and Gets Schooled

Rude
It's really fucking rude of me
To be sitting here, watching Fin Divilly
And writing this fucking poem
Instead of giving him my undivided attention.
I mean, I'm giving him some attention,
But it's fucking divided:
My time is divided between the lovely fucking performance Fin is giving right now,
And this stupid fucking poem I'm writing.
I mean, Fin came all the fuck from Ireland,
And he's singing some really lovely motherfucking songs,
And I'm writing this shit.
And that's really motherfucking rude.

But what's even fucking ruder
Is that after Fin finishes his performance,
I'm going to go on next,
And read this poem,
And maybe one more,
And then I'm going to have to leave,
And probably not watch any of the other performers.
I mean, that's really fucking rude.
I'm really fucking sorry.
It's just I've got this class in less than an hour,
And I've got to get over there.
I'm really fucking sorry,
I really shouldn't be a part of this open mic at all,
If I'm not going to have the decency to fucking listen to anyone else.
But I fucking am part of this mic--
The fucking worst, the fucking rudest, motherfucking part of this mic.

And I realize that it's fucking disingenuous of me to be fucking castigating myself like this,
Hoping that some of you might think, "This Fuckin' guy should give himeself a motherfucking break, it's not like he's setting fire to a motherfucking rainforest or raping a frog,
He's just being fucking rude to 15 fucking people at an open mic,"
But to that I would say: fuck you.
This is what I fucking do.
I do reprehensible motherfucking things and then appogize,
And then fucking hate myself.
I'm fucking sorry.
I really fucking am.
5/14/2015

Class
I made it to my motherfucking class
By running like seven or 8 motherfucking blocks from the bar where the mic was at to the motherfucking G train
And that motherfucker was pulling into thw station just as I was running down the fucking stairs.

And the class was pretty fucking good.
All in all, the evening went pretty fucking well,
Except I still fucking hate myself a little bit for being rude.

So I guess the next time I go to that mic,
I better make sure I don't have any other fucking thing planned.
I guess I better stay for the whole fucking thing.
It's the least fucking thing I could do.
I don’t want people to think I don't have any fucking class.
Oh, you see what I fucking did just there?
Ok, now I hate myself even more.
5/14/2015

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

"Points": This Fuckin' Guy Gets Some Fucking Points.

Points

As those of you motherfuckers
Who were reading This Fuckin' Blog last year
(Or who heard this)
Already fucking know,
I like Citibike:
I used to have to buy motherfucking monthly transit cards
From the motherfucking MTA
Every motherfucking month
And I fucking hate the motherfucking MTA.

Citibike has saved me a shitload of money
That would otherwise go to the pieces of shit
At the fucking MTA
So yeah, I fucking like Citibike.

If I had to name the worst fucking thing
About Citibike
I guess I'd say that sometimes
There's no fucking bikes
And you have to walk to another fucking docking station
And sometimes
There's no room to dock your bike
So you have to ride to another station to dock your fucking bike
But that's really no big deal
It's only occasionally a pain in the ass.

But, so then, I get an email from Citibike a couple of  months ago,
About this new fucking program
Where you get points
If you take a fucking bike from a too-full fucking station
And/or i…

Dan West: This Fucking Guy Celebrates A Friendship

So this fucking morning,
I get one of these fucking messages from Facebook,
Telling me I'm celebrating
Three fucking years of friendship
Between me and Dan Fucking West.

There’s a little fucking video thing.
I've never looked at one of these fucking Facebook videos before.
It's kind of fucking stupid,
But it brought back some nice fucking memories.
I really fucking like Dan West.
He is one awesome motherfucking motherfucker - 
I'm fucking serious like a motherfucking heart attack.

But at the end of the fucking video,
It says something like,
"There are billions of fucking friendships out there,
But only one like yours
(Meaning mine and Dan West's).
That's fucking awesome."

I'm not sure why that is fucking awesome.
You could say that every fucking friendship
Is fucking unique.
Is that awesome?
I don't fucking know.
Maybe it is.
No two fucking snowflakes, am I right?
Of course I'm fucking right.

I guess it would be fucked
If there were two f…

"Return" and "Trump I": This Fuckin' Guy Comes Back.

Return

It's been a long fucking time.
I'm not all that into me, but I've kind of fucking missed me.

After writing something like a hundred fucking poems in 14 months,
This Fuckin' Guy was getting fucking repetitive and pedestrian and boring.
To me, at least.
And I don't think I was the only fucking one.

But, now that 14 more months have gone by (17, actually)
And what with the state of the motherfucking union,
It feels like there might be a place again
For This Fuckin' Guy.

Let's see....

February 28, 2017


Trump I* (In Seven Parts)

I
Well, yeah, of course.
Fuck this fucking piece of shit
Fuck this piece of shit in his fucking dick
With a fucking corkscrew
Stick a fucking corkscrew in his dick
And screw it in.
Hard.
Fucking piece of shit.
Fuck this fucking motherfucker.

II
I've been trying to transcend
I've been meditating and being all like
Live and let live
But then this ever changing world in which we live in
Made me give in and cry
And say fuck that shit
Live and let this mo…