Skip to main content

"Death": This Fuckin' Guy Cries a Fucking River

Death
Considering how fucking old I am
I have not experienced a shitload
Of pull-your-heart-out-of-your-chest-
And-kick-your-fuckikng-ass-from-here-to-
I-don't-fuckking-know-where-the-fuck-kinda-deaths.
Some. One already this year.
But not all that fucking many.

But I'm about to.
I'm fucking about to.
I'm about to experience another fucking one.

And I've never, ever, ever in my entire fucking life,
Been able to even fucking, fucking try
To tell someone who was about to fucking die
How much I love them
How much they fucking mean
How much..I don't fucking know
How much fucking everything.

But today I fucking did. I fucking tried.
I fucking tried, at fucking least.
I fucking tried.

I spoke with her on the phone this morning
And heard her beautiful fucking voice
Like it wasn't 25 fucking years ago
Like it was fucking last week or yesterday
Or some fucking shit.

To fucking cry
And fucking think,
About someone you fucking love so fucking much,
I can't believe you're fucking going to die
But she really fucking is, really fucking soon.

I'm not going to tell you
The beautiful fucking thing her sister said this morning

But check this out. This is what Susanna Ryan said:
"I'm sorry to be the center of suffering.
But it's nice to know that you love me enough to suffer."

That's when I lost my shit
That's when I had to hang up.
And I told her I would fucking call her again.
I certainly fucking will. I fucking will.








These words say fucking nothing
Nothing can really say anything.
I can't fucking capture her essence
Right fucking now, in this meaningless fucking momentt
Full of fucking meaning.

Just fucking know this, motherfucker:
She is really fucking something
Really fucking amazing
Really fucking amazing
Fucking fuck.
10/20/2014

Comments

  1. Love you John. It hurts so terribly, I know. But glad you spoke with her and conveyed what's in your true heart.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

"Return" and "Trump I": This Fuckin' Guy Comes Back.

Return

It's been a long fucking time.
I'm not all that into me, but I've kind of fucking missed me.

After writing something like a hundred fucking poems in 14 months,
This Fuckin' Guy was getting fucking repetitive and pedestrian and boring.
To me, at least.
And I don't think I was the only fucking one.

But, now that 14 more months have gone by (17, actually)
And what with the state of the motherfucking union,
It feels like there might be a place again
For This Fuckin' Guy.

Let's see....

February 28, 2017


Trump I* (In Seven Parts)

I
Well, yeah, of course.
Fuck this fucking piece of shit
Fuck this piece of shit in his fucking dick
With a fucking corkscrew
Stick a fucking corkscrew in his dick
And screw it in.
Hard.
Fucking piece of shit.
Fuck this fucking motherfucker.

II
I've been trying to transcend
I've been meditating and being all like
Live and let live
But then this ever changing world in which we live in
Made me give in and cry
And say fuck that shit
Live and let this mo…

"Trump II: Speech" and "Retrospect": This Fuckin' Guy Reflects.

Trump II: Speech*
Jesus fucking cocks
How do you like the balls on this motherfucking piece of shit?

Make the bar so fucking low
That that shit looks statesmanlike?
That that shit looks good?
Fuck that shit
And fuck you.

But I will say one fucking thing:
It's a fucking shame that no Democrat since probably LBJ
Would even fucking think of proposing
A trillion fucking dollars on infrastructure
And I will say fuck yes to that.

I will give credit when credit is due
Like what that piece of shit Bush did in Africa:
A lot of fucking money to fight AIDS, malaria, and other fucked up shit
over there
Whereas that fuck Reagan took five fucking years to even say the fucking word "AIDS."
That piece of shit ratbastard fuck.

So fuck yes to Bush fighting AIDS, malaria, and other fucked up shit in Africa
And fuck yes to proposing a trillion dollars for infrastructure
Even if it never fucking happ‎ens
It's a nice fucking gesture
It's a lovely fucking gestu‎re
So fuck yes
I mean, I'm almost al…

"Ossoff" and "FBI": This Fuckin' Guy Gives, Gives a Little More, and Refuses to Give

Ossoff

Yeah, what the fuck, I gave that motherfucker some money today.
I figured, any motherfucker gets 48 per cent running as a Democrat in the Georgia 6th deserves a little something.
So I gave him a little fucking money.
Just a little fucking money.

And then Act Blue, who coordinates the fucking contributions, was like "Hey--could we get a fucking tip?"
And I was like, sure, I'll tip you motherfuckers too,
Because 20 percent of the tiny fucking donation I just gave to this motherfucker Ossoff is like nothing anyway,
But it's better than fucking nothing.

Last week, when Ossoff was polling at like 42 per cent, I was like, "No fucking way is this motherfucker going to win the runoff,"
But maybe he fucking will.

Anyway, it's worth throwing a little fucking money in.
Skin in the fucking game.

April 19, 2017


FBI

Monday, I was about to dock a Citibike
Over by the motherfucking ferry,
And this guy is like,
"Yo, could I borrow your bike? I'm with the …