"Rain," "Blabbermouth," "Weight," "Thighs" and "Arms": Some More Solopsistic Narcisistic Nonsense From This Fuckin' Guy

Rain
Today - let me fucking tell you
I fucking loved the rain.
Last year, when I was re-learning
How to ride a motherfucking bike
The rain would really fucking piss me off

But fuck me,
I can ride a motherfucking bike now, motherfucker
So this fucking morning
When I was slowly fucking weaving
Around those cars
And fucking busses and  motherfucking trucks
I didn't even fucking feel
Like I was taking my motherfucking life
In my motherfucking hands
Which fairly fucking recently
I did fucking feel like maybe I was

And so this is a good fucking thing
Because today, it's like
I actually want to maybe fucking live
That's fucking nice, right?
9/25/2015


Blabbermouth
I'm such a motherfucking blabbermouth
You wouldn't fucking believe what I just wrote
I don't know why I want the fucking world
To know my stupid fucking petty shit

But always every mother fucking time
I get a fucking idea in my mind
I write it down and motherfuck, I want
To post the motherfucker in real time

Why is it that I always fucking want
To spew my secrets out like fucking puke
Have I no motherfucking common sense?
Do I secretly crave fucking rebuke?

Do I want to be fucking punished for my thoughts?
Do I think I'm fucking evil deep inside?
I motherfucking wish I fucking knew
I don't know why I'm fucking asking you

But thank you fucking God, for just this once
I had the wherewithal to cut the poem
I fucking wrote between this one and "Rain"
'Cause posting it would've cost a world of pain.

Sometimes it's good I fucking talk so much
So people know exactly where they stand
But the poem I just wrote only fucking goes
To certain fucking people, by demand.
9/25/2014


Weight
I'm like fucking
Three or four pounds shy
Of my motherfucking goal weight

Many have fucking told me
And they're not exactly fucking wrong
That I'm a fucking girl about my weight

But the fucking difference is
I think I'm finally fucking almost
Okay with how much I fucking weigh

Lately, I've been looking at the scale
And I don't want to stop fucking eating
For a motherfucking week

Lately, I look in the fucking mirror
And I don't want to vomit,
Either to lose weight or out of fucking disgust

For an old motherfucker
And I am a very fucking old motherfucker
I don't look fucking terrible today

I just fucking hope I don't  fucking turn
Into more of a fucking narcissist
Than I already fucking am
9/25/2014


Thighs
The other fucking day
I was walking down the motherfucking street
And I was like, what the fuck is going on
With my fucking legs
And I bent down and grabbed my right thigh
And the motherfucker was hard as a fucking rock

I don't know when the fuck this happened
But I've suddenly got some serious fucking muscles
In my motherfucking thighs
A consequence, no motherfucking doubt
Of how fucking hard I've been pedaling
Those motherfucking, fucking citibikes
9/25/2014


Arms
Fuck me, I am getting fucking narcissistic
Because the next fucking thing
I was thinking about fucking mentioning
Was that time, last fucking month, on the subway
When I was asked, "Can you do a fucking pull-up?"
By someone the same fucking age as me.
And I was like, "Fuck no."
Because I haven't fucking been able to do one
Since fucking high school

But then I tried, on the fucking subway hand rail
And fuck me, I could.
And this was such big fucking deal,
That here I fucking am, telling you
So my fucking arms are getting stronger too
Whoop de motherfucking whoop de do
9/25/2014