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"Razor," "Jersey," "Epithets," "Chimes," "Bike," and "Fuck": Six More? This Fuckin' Guy Has Got to be Fucking Kidding.






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"Points": This Fuckin' Guy Gets Some Fucking Points.

Points

As those of you motherfuckers
Who were reading This Fuckin' Blog last year
(Or who heard this)
Already fucking know,
I like Citibike:
I used to have to buy motherfucking monthly transit cards
From the motherfucking MTA
Every motherfucking month
And I fucking hate the motherfucking MTA.

Citibike has saved me a shitload of money
That would otherwise go to the pieces of shit
At the fucking MTA
So yeah, I fucking like Citibike.

If I had to name the worst fucking thing
About Citibike
I guess I'd say that sometimes
There's no fucking bikes
And you have to walk to another fucking docking station
And sometimes
There's no room to dock your bike
So you have to ride to another station to dock your fucking bike
But that's really no big deal
It's only occasionally a pain in the ass.

But, so then, I get an email from Citibike a couple of  months ago,
About this new fucking program
Where you get points
If you take a fucking bike from a too-full fucking station
And/or i…

Dan West: This Fucking Guy Celebrates A Friendship

So this fucking morning,
I get one of these fucking messages from Facebook,
Telling me I'm celebrating
Three fucking years of friendship
Between me and Dan Fucking West.

There’s a little fucking video thing.
I've never looked at one of these fucking Facebook videos before.
It's kind of fucking stupid,
But it brought back some nice fucking memories.
I really fucking like Dan West.
He is one awesome motherfucking motherfucker - 
I'm fucking serious like a motherfucking heart attack.

But at the end of the fucking video,
It says something like,
"There are billions of fucking friendships out there,
But only one like yours
(Meaning mine and Dan West's).
That's fucking awesome."

I'm not sure why that is fucking awesome.
You could say that every fucking friendship
Is fucking unique.
Is that awesome?
I don't fucking know.
Maybe it is.
No two fucking snowflakes, am I right?
Of course I'm fucking right.

I guess it would be fucked
If there were two f…

"Return" and "Trump I": This Fuckin' Guy Comes Back.

Return

It's been a long fucking time.
I'm not all that into me, but I've kind of fucking missed me.

After writing something like a hundred fucking poems in 14 months,
This Fuckin' Guy was getting fucking repetitive and pedestrian and boring.
To me, at least.
And I don't think I was the only fucking one.

But, now that 14 more months have gone by (17, actually)
And what with the state of the motherfucking union,
It feels like there might be a place again
For This Fuckin' Guy.

Let's see....

February 28, 2017


Trump I* (In Seven Parts)

I
Well, yeah, of course.
Fuck this fucking piece of shit
Fuck this piece of shit in his fucking dick
With a fucking corkscrew
Stick a fucking corkscrew in his dick
And screw it in.
Hard.
Fucking piece of shit.
Fuck this fucking motherfucker.

II
I've been trying to transcend
I've been meditating and being all like
Live and let live
But then this ever changing world in which we live in
Made me give in and cry
And say fuck that shit
Live and let this mo…