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"Razor," "Jersey," "Epithets," "Chimes," "Bike," and "Fuck": Six More? This Fuckin' Guy Has Got to be Fucking Kidding.






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"Return" and "Trump I": This Fuckin' Guy Comes Back.

Return

It's been a long fucking time.
I'm not all that into me, but I've kind of fucking missed me.

After writing something like a hundred fucking poems in 14 months,
This Fuckin' Guy was getting fucking repetitive and pedestrian and boring.
To me, at least.
And I don't think I was the only fucking one.

But, now that 14 more months have gone by (17, actually)
And what with the state of the motherfucking union,
It feels like there might be a place again
For This Fuckin' Guy.

Let's see....

February 28, 2017


Trump I* (In Seven Parts)

I
Well, yeah, of course.
Fuck this fucking piece of shit
Fuck this piece of shit in his fucking dick
With a fucking corkscrew
Stick a fucking corkscrew in his dick
And screw it in.
Hard.
Fucking piece of shit.
Fuck this fucking motherfucker.

II
I've been trying to transcend
I've been meditating and being all like
Live and let live
But then this ever changing world in which we live in
Made me give in and cry
And say fuck that shit
Live and let this mo…

"Trump II: Speech" and "Retrospect": This Fuckin' Guy Reflects.

Trump II: Speech*
Jesus fucking cocks
How do you like the balls on this motherfucking piece of shit?

Make the bar so fucking low
That that shit looks statesmanlike?
That that shit looks good?
Fuck that shit
And fuck you.

But I will say one fucking thing:
It's a fucking shame that no Democrat since probably LBJ
Would even fucking think of proposing
A trillion fucking dollars on infrastructure
And I will say fuck yes to that.

I will give credit when credit is due
Like what that piece of shit Bush did in Africa:
A lot of fucking money to fight AIDS, malaria, and other fucked up shit
over there
Whereas that fuck Reagan took five fucking years to even say the fucking word "AIDS."
That piece of shit ratbastard fuck.

So fuck yes to Bush fighting AIDS, malaria, and other fucked up shit in Africa
And fuck yes to proposing a trillion dollars for infrastructure
Even if it never fucking happ‎ens
It's a nice fucking gesture
It's a lovely fucking gestu‎re
So fuck yes
I mean, I'm almost al…

"118" and "Book": This Fuckin' Guy has been at it for a year!

118
A year ago today,
This Fucking Guy
Wrote his first fucking poem
Called "Dragonfly"

Whoop-de-fucking-
Motherfucking-whoop-de-fucking-do
Fucking "Dachshund" and Fucking "Daisy"
Were written that day too

I just fucking counted
How many there have been
117 motherfuckers
A motherfucking sin

A few are pretty fucking good
And a few are fucking not
But regardless, 117's
A motherfucking lot

I posted one motherfucker twice
Because it was rewritten
But it only counts as one
Otherwise, that would be bullshitting

And there's a fucking poem called "Cake"
Inside another poem
I figured, fuck it, that one counts
Leave me the fuck alone

Anyway, it's been a year a this shit
Whoop-de-fucking-dee
Happy fucking birthday
To motherfucking me
8/5/2015

Book
I've been thinking,
Fuck me, there are a fuckload
Of This Fuckin' Guy poems.
Shouldn't there be a fucking book?

"Owls" has already been fucking published,
And a few more are suppo…